Grades Are Not Eternal

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There are always those things I have to remind myself at the end of every semester…grades are not eternal.

Now, it seems very self-explanatory. Of course, grades are not eternal. Inherently, I know this to be true. However, when it comes to the end of the semester, I seem to always find myself frantically checking every medium I can multiple times a day to see if I can find out what my grades are.

I don’t know why I do this when 99% of the time nothing will ever be updated. Yet I always, always do (even thought I tell myself “I don’t care how I finish as long as I pass). I mean, C’s get degrees, right?

However, no matter how many times I tell myself this, it doesn’t seem to make the difference. I tell myself I don’t care how I finish when in actuality I’m calculating to see if I will get the A or the A-. I tell myself C’s get degrees until I feel my heart stop at the thought of ACTUALLY getting a C (talk about nightmares).

I try, and I try, and I try, yet at the end of the day, I always seem to care tremendously about my grades.

I don’t say this as a bad thing. I highly encourage everyone to take their education seriously.

But I think of it this way – in Harry Potter (yes, I’m making a HP reference, bear with me here), Hermione’s boggart (a thing/creature that takes the form of what a person fears most) is failing her classes.

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It seems silly doesn’t it? To have your biggest fear be failing your classes? But, as in most things, I feel like I can relate to Hermione so much on this one.

Hermione is defined by her education. She is the smart girl. The teacher’s pet. The one who always gets the questions right, and probably the one who is banned from answering questions because of that. I’ve been in the same position. I was always the smart one growing up. I was always the one who chose homework over hanging out with friends. I was the one who didn’t like getting B’s and especially not getting C’s. My freshman year of college I skipped football and basketball games (two sports I love dearly) to sit in the library and study Latin conjugations and the Communist Manifesto. My grades were everything.

College can be slightly different. After all, losing a 3.0 GPA could mean losing my scholarship. It was a little bit of pressure. But I remember having a freakout with my mom one day because I felt too close to the line, to which she reminded me as long as I never went below 3.0 I would be fine.

I knew all of this. I knew I was fine. I knew it was enough. Yet somewhere along the way, I convinced myself it wasn’t.

As I’m sure Hermione did, I became defined by my grades. Or more so, I let my grades define me. It was as if I lived in this fear that I would face rejection and loss if I didn’t do well in my classes. Almost like, I could only be accepted if I had a GPA acceptable enough to be on Dean’s List.

The pressure I placed on myself almost destroyed me at times.

I distinctly remember ranting at work one day, flat out freaking out about my GPA, because I had four A’s and two A-‘s. (It really wasn’t the end of the world). I showed my computer to my friend Kaelan and he basically gave me the “you need to shut up now” look, shortly followed by a sarcastic phrase of you’re kidding right? In the way only a best friend who also doubles as your big brother could, he looked at me and went “You do realize so many people would kill to have that GPA, right?”

In that moment, I was reminded of a Jesus Calling passage I had read one day. Funny how in moments God gives us exactly what we need to hear, and in this moment, this memory was exactly what I needed.

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While it does not completely correlate to grades, there’s no denying the truth found in the text:

You are on the path of my choosing. There is no randomness about your life…[Most people] avoid the present by worrying about the future or longing for a better time and place. They forget that they are creatures who are subject to the limitations of time and space. They forget their Creator.

It’s powerful. It’s the word of God. Along with the passage were the verses Luke 12:25-26 – “And which of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life’s span? If then you cannot do even a very little thing, why do you worry about other matter?”

In these moments, I remembered how truly small I am, and how truly small my grades are. I work very, very hard for my grades. I make school a priority because education is important to me, and I value learning.

However, what makes grades not eternal, is that my grades aren’t what God uses to define me. God doesn’t love me based on how well I perform in school. God does not look at me and go “Oh…you couldn’t recite Cicero’s orations verbatim? Well that’s too bad.” If he did, well, things wouldn’t be too great.

As with most lessons in life, my grades taught me that my identity is found in Christ. That my Father accepts me, will never reject me, or leave me if I don’t perform top-notch in my classes. Because God’s love for me isn’t defined by my grades, it’s defined by what was done on the cross.

It is hard. It’s very hard. If you haven’t noticed by now, I love school. But school isn’t the end. School, in the grander scheme of things, is only the beginning. School doesn’t define who I am, my heavenly Father does.

I definitely struggle at times, but grades are not eternal. However, God’s love for me is.

Music Wednesday: Random

Piece of advice – never work full-time while going to school full-time. I’ve been so busy, I have all of these blog posts written down that I haven’t even touched. I’ve just been so tired lately.

Anyway because my mind can’t function anymore apparently, I really couldn’t think of anything “creative” for this blog post but then I figured it didn’t have to be anything necessarily special.

So basically today’s music Wednesday is going to be the random song that I’ve been playing on my phone all week, and that song is…

Rain is a Good Thing by Luke Bryan. I’m sure it was because Texas drowned in rain all last week, but I just couldn’t stop singing in my head, so now it can get stuck in yours too! Enjoy!

Don’t worry, next week I transition to subterms and I’ll only be taking 3 hours at a time, lots more blog posts will start popping up! 🙂

Music Wednesday: Hall of Fame

Confession time…I’ve been too distracted by the Olympics to blog. If you’re laughing, I probably deserve it. I just really, really love the Olympics.

To say these Olympics have been historic would be an understatement.

Michael Phelps is ending his career with 23 gold medals. TWENTY-THREE GOLD MEDALS.

The women’s gymnastics team is officially the most decorated US gymnastics team in history with nine medals total. (S/O to Aly Raisman, my all-time favorite US gymnast, for redemption in the all-around)

Katie Ledecky broke her own world record…multiple times.

Three women just swept the 100m hurdles, the first sweep by US women in any Olympic sport.

Usain Bolt is still the fastest man in the world, although there is no shocker there.

And so, so many more awesome things have happened in these Olympics!

Because of this, there is only one song I felt was fitting for this music Wednesday, especially have this first week-and-a-half of competition.

Olympians are making names for themselves in these games. They are proving they are greatest. They will be remembered in the hall of fame.

Therefore, the perfect song, Hall of Fame by The Script.

23 Years Ago Today

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Y’all, I’m a Rangers fan. Therefore, I had to share (as did everyone else…)

There are certain sports moments that can never go away, especially when you’re a diehard Rangers fan like myself (cough cough, game six of the 2011 World Series).

Now, I have to point out – this specific incident happened in 1993. I was not born yet. HOWEVER, I have grown up hearing the story it’s as if I was there.

After all, my parents went to the Rangers game the following day (August 5th).

So, that’s a lot of words to say 23 years ago today, baseball saw possibly one of the greatest moments ever when Nolan Ryan beat the crap out of Robin Ventura.

The video is shown all the time at the ballpark in Arlington so I have it memorized.

Here’s how it goes:

  • Ryan hits Ventura with a pitch
  • Ventura charges the mound
  • Ryan places Ventura in a headlock and goes at it
  • Ventura can never live this down

Definitely one of the most infamous bench-clearing brawls in baseball. And because I’m sure you’re curious – yes, the Rangers won the game 5-2. And no, Ryan was not ejected.

Don’t mess with Texas, y’all.

Happy anniversary, Robin.

P.S. If Ryan wasn’t enough…Bautista learned his lesson this year too.

I mean seriously…don’t mess with Texas.

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Rangers forever.

Music Wednesday: A New Day

This week has, unfortunately, been one of those weeks were I just feel like life has taken a kick out of sucker-punching me in the face. One thing, after another, and after another. It never seemed to stop.

But this week has also placed things in perspective for me. As much as I would like things going “my way,” there are people facing far harder things than having their a/c go out in their car (even if it was 102 outside).

Yesterday, one of my closest friends received truly heart-breaking news. I wanted nothing more than to get in my car and drive to her house, but she lives in another state. I had to be there for her in every way I could modern technology allows.

This morning I texted her to make sure she was doing okay. I reminded her it is okay to grieve because she needs to. She responded and said her grief comes in waves and today felt like a good day– –a new day.

That’s when I was instantly reminded of this song by Celine Dion. It is a very inspirational song, and when I listened to it today, I thought of my friend. She has experienced loss, but she is moving forward with strength.

Despite everything she’s going through, she viewed today as a new day. So this music Wednesday is for her and embracing each new day as she moves forward.