When Life Asks the Tough Questions

I am a college graduate. I have a very fancy piece of paper that says I met a minimum amount of requirements and am officially able to move forward in this world for a career in history and public relations. Everything should be okay now right? Wrong.

I am still trying to figure life out and figure out where to go next. More importantly, I am trying to figure out how to get there. With the exception of one person who claims I am the epitome of Black Widow from the Avengers, I come across people who weekly tell me I am going to end up as the next chick from Zero Dark Thirty and marry the next Chris Kyle.

I absolutely love these compliments! They fill me with pride. Every time someone (friend or stranger) tells me something like this, I feel as if these scenarios would be the fulfillment of everything I ever dreamed of. However, I am not there yet. In fact, there is a possibility I will never reach this point.

At this point in my life all I want is to figure out God’s plan for me. I know where I want to go next, but I NEED to know where God wants me to go next.

Yesterday, I met a former colleague for coffee at Starbucks. Invited to the meeting under a false pretense, I thought he was going to update me on his company start-up. Instead, another man was there with my former colleague and this man (we’ll call him Mr. Entrepreneur for lack of a better name and to protect his true identity) quickly shanghaid me into figuring out my life.

Mr. Entrepreneur commended me on my graduation from college and then told me he was going to do what Baylor never did and ask me the tough questions. I tried to remain calm and respectful, he had just bought me coffee after all, but the enter time I felt both betrayed my former colleague did not tell me this meeting was going to be about me and appalled a man who knew nothing about me had the audacity to try and tell me what to do with my future.

The whole situation was weird and a tad offensive. Mr. Entrepreneur bragged to me about every important person he knows and all the places he had traveled to in the world. Then he began asking me questions such as:

  • What do you want to do with your life?
  • What do your parents do?
  • What is your fallback if Virginia doesn’t work?
  • What if you get halfway across the nation and things aren’t as you thought they’d be or you realize you made a mistake?
  • Where do you see yourself by the time you’re 30? (He followed this up with money and location not being an issue when he wasn’t pleased I responded with a practical answer)
  • Do you want to be in control of your life?
  • Are you in control of your life if you work for the government or the military?
  • Do you want to help others or make a living?
  • What do you think it means to help the military?
  • Have you ever considered yourself an entrepreneur?
  • What do you think is your purpose in life?

I will not take credit away from Mr. Entrepreneur, these are all very important questions to ask, but the entire time he and I spoke I wasn’t offended so much by him choosing to ask these questions and stimulate my thinking, but more the feeling I got he was ignoring my answers.

At the end of the day Mr. Entrepreneur and I have two VERY different thought processes. Yesterday, he thought he was going to get a 21-year-old girl to work on the next PR start-up or something and instead he found a 21 year-old-girl who knows that no matter how much she may WANT to be in control of her life, the truth is she never will be.

Why will I never be in control of my life? Because my life is not my own. Every question Mr. Entrepreneur had for me I was able to respond with a faith-based answer. This was not me avoiding his questions of what should happen if I go out into the world and fall on my face. In all honesty, I am scared to death of moving to Virginia and failing, but I am still going to try. I told him the thing is if I do get to Norfolk and fail, I now have an opportunity to learn from my mistakes. However, I also told him that I cannot let myself be concerned with those things. All I know is I feel like something calling me there (and has been for over a year now). I chose to be transparent about who I am. Nothing more and nothing less.

When we reached the very last question of what my purpose in life was, I knew I gave Mr. Entrepreneur an answer he had never heard before. I told him my only purpose in life is to serve my Father, meaning my heavenly Father and not my biological father as he originally thought. I am here to continue work for God’s kingdom wherever that may take me.

Mr. Entrepreneur asked me some very tough questions yesterday. I saw blaring flaws in all the questions he asked and he saw blaring flaws in all of my answers. He wanted me to romanticize the greatest life I could ever know, but everything he wanted me to romanticize did not include faith. I simply could not do that.

Too often I feel like society teaches students they can graduate from college and just jump through all of the hoops to reach the top of the business world. The likeliness of this actually happening, however, is slim-to-none. Everyone wants be the person signing the check instead of receiving the check. Yet I am content with a respectfully submissive role because I am already submissive to God and His will for my life.

I may not have that full-fledged entrepreneurial spirit. I may not be my own boss one day. I highly doubt I will be a multi-millionaire by the time I’m 30, or even making six figures for that matter. But if Mr. Entrepreneur or anyone expects me to be upset about that then they are wrong. Money is not the driving factor in my life. I do not live to see the highest income I can reach and how much power I can obtain. I live for God and God alone.

Needless-to-say, Mr. Entrepreneur and I will probably not have any further meetings in the future. I wish him the best for his life, as he did for me. If anything, our meeting shows you will never be able to see eye-to-eye with everyone. He was transparent about who he was and I was transparent about who I was. I think it’s safe to say after everything in that conversation we parted Starbucks as equals.

I may not know where I am going next, but I trust God. I fully believe whatever adventure life has in store for me is going to be a fantastic and fulfilling adventure indeed.

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