Surrendering Completely

“Sometimes things find you when you need them to, I believe that. And for me, it’s usually song lyrics.” -Peyton Sawyer, One Tree Hill

Music is interesting in the way it can strike us and in the catharsis lyrics can make us feel. One of the biggest smiles you will ever see on my face comes when I listen to Would You Go With Me by Josh Turner. On the other hand, I cry some of my hardest tears listening to Lost by Chris Young. I feel empowered when I listen to She Don’t Break by Josh Abbott Band and the list goes on.

One song that has really struck me lately is Completely by Among the Thirsty. Completely is a song I have listened to on Spotify countless times, but the song utterly changed for me the day I actually listened to the lyrics.

These past few weeks, especially this past week, have been difficult for me. Recovering from mono and still dealing with the chronic fatigue, random drama with different friends, and the stress of school and work on top of everything else, I became drained emotionally and physically. The worst part of all was the moment I realized I had become drained spiritually. I was missing devotionals and not spending time in prayer like I should have been. I became consumed with the world and the people around me and focused less on what God was trying to tell me.

One day I woke up and realized I didn’t want to live like that anymore. I did not want to let my situations control my life. I remembered who I was and to whom I belong. I wanted that to be the only thing that consumed my life. That’s the day I finally heard the lyrics of Completely.

As I listened to the song, it was as if the story the lyrics told matched up with my life. I was broken down and in pain, but I was trying to return to my Father. I began to let go of the treasures I held close to my heart and hand them over to God. I reached the moment where I finally surrendered everything to God and realized I was His completely. It was all I wanted.

A huge part of my journey right now is God pulling selfishness out my life and leaving nothing inside of me except a longing for Him. He showed me I may be fragile, but everything in my life is exactly where He wants me to be. I became thankful for my situation. I was thankful for to hear no. When I became filled with the Spirit, nothing else in the world mattered. I found myself praising God for being all I need and glorifying Himself in my life. Pastor Charles Spurgeon states it best when he said “If you will but desire God to be glorified and aim at glorifying Him yourself, then the joys of true godliness will come to you in answer to prayer.” Sure, there are prayers in my life I desire to be answered, but when I focus on God’s glory and not my own selfishness, my perspective shifts.

In the craziness of life, I drifted away from God. Yet throughout all my drifting I continually felt Him tugging at my heart and desiring to pull me back in. Sometimes I think we feel like we have to experience huge epiphanies for God to reveal Himself in our lives. Sometimes this may be true. But what I have found is daily God is there moving inside me and opening my mind to Himself. This time, He happened to use music to speak to me. Who knows what He may use next time.

What I am finding important in my life is to continually find myself complete in Him alone. This is the only way I can truly become the person He has created me to be. He is my redeemer. When I remind myself He is more than enough, I find peace. I may be physically and mentally exhausted, but spiritually I find strength. I am who I need to be when I allow myself to be completely His.

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